Nutbag of a guy

This guy comes in complaining of abdominal pain.  He's already been to another hospital that day, but they found nothing wrong, so he said he figured he'd come to another one since they "didn't know nuthin.'"  We get his results from the other ED, and there is plainly nothing wrong with the guy.  He's relaxed and laid back watching tv in the room while sipping on a coke.  Oh yeah, some abdominal pain, huh?  Anyway, as soon as the doc comes in, the guy starts writhing in pain and moaning (whatta show.)  The doc basically tells him to scat b/c there's nothing we can do for someone "like him."  We had to get security to escort (throw) him out b/c he began to get very confrontational with me and the doc. 

Fast forward 20 minutes, and we hear a code blue paged overhead for one of the hospital lobbies.  That's one of our code areas to cover, so we run, grab the crash cart, and head for the lobby.  When we get there, what do we find?  That idiot with the abdominal pain playing dead on the floor.  The security guard actually kicked him in the leg and told him to get the hell out of his hospital.  So we all walked back down to the ED.

Another 30 minutes and an ambulance pulls up.  And who was inside?  Abdominal pain man.  This time he was hammered drunk, too.  We met with the ambulance personnel, and they agreed to keep driving him on down the road and to the police station.  Bet he got a surprise when they opened those back doors!