Lackadaisical Parents

I love it when parents bring in their babies (not.)  By far the most common thing children are brought in for is fever.  But what I get a real hoot out of is when you start asking questions, and then you realize the parent is f***ing idiot! 

-Oh, please help!  My baby has had a horrible fever for a week!
+Have you tried to give them anything for it like Tylenol or Motrin?
-Well, no. 
+Ok.  What has their fever been running?  How high has it gotten?
-Um, I don't know.  I haven't checked it.  My baby just has felt really warm for the last week.
+Is there any nausea, vomiting, diarrhea?
-No.
+Are they pulling on their ears?  Have they been eating, drinking, and pooping like usual?
-I haven't seen him pull on his ears.  And he's been eating just fine.  Although, he didn't want to eat his veggies at lunch today.  Oh my God!  What could that mean?!  He almost always eats his veggies!
+Sounds like a normal child to me.  Has there been any change at all besides the child's "feeling warm?"
-No, but I really know there's something wrong with him!  My baby is dying!  Why aren't you going for the doctor?!  Get out of here and get the doctor!  And bring back a dinner tray for my son and me.  My husband will be here soon, too, so you may as well bring one for him also.

Dear Lord, just fall off of the earth and stop having children why don't you?!  These people drive me nuts.  They don't know anything at all about their kid, and they haven't even tried to do anything at home for them.  But why should they when they can just come to the ER and get some free tests and healthcare?  Makes me so sick!